Sacred Hospitality at the End-of-Life

(0:00 - 0:03) Perfect. All right. So thank you, Miles. (0:03 - 2:00) Yeah, thanks for having me. This has been exciting. And I think we're, you and I were just kind of scratching the surface or seeing the tip of the iceberg regarding how God has brought us together and the different projects ahead for us together. And so God bless the work you're doing. It's very important. And I tell as many people as I can about the Death and Resurrection Program, because there's literally nothing like it in the world. So God bless. So Miles is the first name, M-I-L-E-S in Gloetzner. So my last name, but ignore the O basically with the spelling. I am an RN and a VA RN specifically. I was at the local VA for 11 years. First as an unlicensed nursing assistant on a med surg unit, became an RN on the same unit after the VA paid for my schooling, which was just so amazing. Spent another couple of years there. Then I thought I got my dream job, which was working on the streets, going to park corners, or parks and street corners and connecting with homeless veterans and trying to find housing for them, getting them connected with healthcare as well. So that was an amazing opportunity. But after some leadership changes, they got rid of the nursing position and made it a social worker role, which is still wonderful. The VA does great things for the vets, not just at our local one, but other ones. After that, I went into primary care, which is the hardest type of nursing because unlike in med surge, where I had a certain load assigned to me, caring for three, four veterans in primary care, I'm caring for hundreds. (2:01 - 2:37) And I don't get to kind of let them go at the end of the day. They're with me on the weekends. They're with me all the time. And I became a connection and an important healthcare link for the services that they need. After that, a mentor of mine recommended that I take her position that she was stepping out of that ended up being exactly what God needed to give me a kick in the pants to start the practice, the project that I'm doing now. It was a job in a basement, no natural light. (2:38 - 3:46) And it was a desk job, hardly any real connections with people. It was all telephone, but hardly even telephone, just email. But like I said, I did end up being the greatest blessing because it helped me to realize more about myself. So I grew in self-knowledge and then began to look around for that next step. And in that timeframe, this dream and this idea for a home for the dying was stirred back, stirred back up in my heart. And I started to take it more seriously and talked with some peers, my wife, and ended up discerning that the timing was right and moving forward. So on September 15th of 2024, I'm sorry, 2023, I decided to start this thing. So here we are a few years later. Oh, I can't hear you, Laura. (3:46 - 7:32) I'm sorry. I did mute. There's a little background noise here. So did you just say, like Google, how to start a home for the dying? Or like, how did you just even get started? Because this is a massive undertaking and I know here we're coming up to a little over a year and a half. And so I know there were many, many steps. So how did you get started? I wish I could say Google had the answer and it was like that. And then again, it's nice that it's not so cookie cutter. And even of the homes that exist, each one has a different style. So what happened to me is I envisioned the home. I felt inspired by the Lord. That was about three years ago when I woke up in the night to just have the flow of these ideas and just couldn't sleep and just brainstormed and wrote it all down before I knew that something like it existed. So that's how it started for me, I guess. That's a type of Google, but yeah. So if I recall, it's Omega Home Network. Is that what the structure around the country that can help people get started with something like this, although you tailor it to your communities? Exactly. Yeah. So in that September of 23, I learned about other homes like it and got connected with the Omega Home Network and visited three homes from September to October to get an idea and kind of bring what was only an idea into a reality. So having those concrete experiences were extremely helpful. The Omega Home Network is extremely helpful. They've got a number of resources online, including a book of how to start these homes in the step by step, not just sporadic, but what to do at different points and how to grow and how to develop. So yeah, very, very great group of people. I was able to go to their conference a year ago and get connected again with just some of the greatest people around. And that was a huge boost as we were still in the early stages. So the support's there. That's amazing. The support is there to do something. So if a call was placed on your heart through some research and some time and got opening doors, you found a really supportive network of other people who are stepping out boldly to do something that's not just a good idea, but a way to transform our communities and transform the lives of people facing death, people who are a close family member or friend of someone's facing death. And I see it, and I hear a little bit of this from just a little bit I've talked with you and the few, the couple of people training in my program that you've sent my way, is it's something that changes the community as a whole, the volunteers and the people who give to your group. So one thing, and I think this is a major reason I have a Christian dead tool training program, is we're so detached from death as a society in modern years that we don't know how to care. And we're not, we don't know how to care for people when they're dying. (7:32 - 12:27) Like we have in generations past, we're not even sure how to talk about death exactly. And so this doesn't just affect us individually, but it affects us in our families and it affects us in our broader communities. And so what you're doing is just really opening the door for a community to come together around something that is a lost art. Exactly. Is that how it kind of felt now that you've gotten started? Let me go down and we'll see. Before we get into that, I should ask you, like you named it Inora Home and maybe explain what the word Inora means. Okay, absolutely. And I will just put a little blip in there too about those comments, because what you said is just so insightful and so powerful. I don't want to miss that flow since I think it was the Lord speaking through you. So yeah, it's always been the Christians of a community who cared for their dying. It wasn't the government, it wasn't big corporations, it wasn't for-profit medical systems. It was everyday people who believed that those in their last days of life have value and are still part of the community. When we cut off our dying brothers and sisters or mothers and fathers from the community, from the connection and put them into a medical facility, a nursing home, there are circumstances, don't get me wrong, and very painful circumstances where that might be needed. And it's still an imperfect and a sad option. Unfortunately, in our modern society, we don't have the community support like we used to. But an option like a social model hospice home like Inora is going back to that root, back to that Christian charism and style and ministry of caring for the dead, rather than putting into the hands of these people that don't really care about us. There are homes like this that exist, but they cost upward of $5,000 a month, so it's for wealthy, and I've heard of some even $10,000 or more. Dignity at the end of life shouldn't have a dollar sign. It's something that's priceless that we can't just put a tag on. And it's a privilege, and it's an honor, because communities suffer when we don't see death and we don't talk about death, especially without the Christian perspective of the resurrection side of it as well. There's so much suffering and injury that happens, and you and I, Laurel, are on this wave in our society when the secular folk are now starting to talk about death and dying with the death positive movements and death care and natural burial and these things, but all from the secular side. But the culture right now is talking about it, and thank God that those on this call and us that we're listening because we need the Christian voice in this conversation, otherwise our communities will suffer. Before it was in the hands of, and even now in the hands of for-profit organizations or the government, but if the Christian people can come back into this conversation and make a difference through becoming death doulas or starting homes like this, then it will allow us to bring Christianity back into the public, back into this arena, and allow us to make a difference for the Lord. You have been really clear. I'm very grateful that you, from your, you know, we're doing some, well, we're doing something dynamic. We're entering into the secular movement of bringing death back into our communities, bringing it back in conversation, but we're saying, wait, something's something not just missing, like the truth is missing, and so we have made huge efforts to probably, you know, give away a lot of, you know, what the easy way would be and say, I'm going to keep my head down. I'm going to do this because the Lord's called me, and I believe in it, and you know, we are, you know, the few out there, but every person who joins on to what we're doing or listens to this, they become a part of this movement, and so I just am very grateful to hear your confirmation and the clarity that you presented it with, so thank you. (12:28 - 14:17) You're really in the action. I mean, I am in the action to a degree lesser than you because I sit on my computer and tell people what you will see. You're actually seeing it, and that's so amazing, and so tell me what the word Inhora means. Tell us what the word Inhora means. It comes from the Latin prayer, the Latin recitation of the prayer of the rosary from the Hail Mary, and at the end of that prayer, it says, pray for us now and at the hour of our death, so at the hour is what Inhora means at an aura mortis nostre amens, so there's an obvious connection with death and an obvious connection with faith, and then there's a few other ones that maybe aren't quite so obvious, which is, so yes, we're at the hour for those who need it most in our community when they're, you know, when they're dying, when they only have weeks or even days to live, we're able to come to their aid, but we're also at the hour when our medical system has gone to extremes and has tried to meet every need in the society, including at the end of life, but has failed to and has made it dehumanizing. A hospital is no place for somebody to live the end of their days, so it's at the hour that we are realizing that we can't depend on the government to give us humanized care. (14:18 - 22:39) It's at the hour when we can, as a community, come together and provide that care, and it's also at the hour when healthcare workers are being used and abused and thrown away. They're being sued by their hospitals, or I should say, if one of their patients or patient's family members sued, and now it's the nurses who can get hurt from those, and, you know, common medical errors, there are medical errors, it's a very complex system, but now it's individual people who become, I guess, victims of the system, and it's a scary thing for a lot of people now to even enter into the field, so we are at the hour providing a grassroots non-medical solution to the system, and sometimes there's a bridge with the system, like we are, because at these hospice homes, we are not a hospice, we are not a replacement for hospice. Every guest that we care for receives medical care through a hospice organization, which is a blessing, and that is a proper partnership, just like some of our loved ones have been cared for by hospice to the last days, you know, what a gift and what a blessing. So, we provide the home and the 24-7 caregiving. So, that's a long way to explain what the name is, and it kind of gives a little bit of insight into who we are too. Well, really profound, at the hour, I'm not, the way you explained it to me this time, I'm not going to be able to forget, so very, very clear. Well, and I'm, and the next question I was going to ask is, you know, why do you call it a social model hospice home, so glad you already added to the conversation that you're not hospice, and someone coming to finish their days at Enora has to be enrolled in hospice, and I imagine there are more than one hospices in downtown Albuquerque, so do you work, do you see more than one hospice? Oh yeah, yeah, we don't, we don't have any, how do we say, preference for any hospice, and we do require a couple things of hospices, which is, one, we want them to come and meet us and see our home, see our chapel, see our space, eat our food, so that's one thing that we require, and then we do have a memorandum of understanding that they sign, but any hospice is welcome to come into that connection with us, and so far it's been amazing, from the very first weeks they've given us, the hospice employees, the nurses, directors have given us such praise, and they say they're spreading the word like wildfire about what we're doing here in downtown Albuquerque, we are the only home like it in the Albuquerque area, there is one other home that's part of the network in Santa Fe, little different style, maybe even a very different style, um, they don't have the Christian values, um, I can say that much, our home is, and dying, so let's head into that, you are doing something very special, New Mexico is a medical aid dying, and dying state, yes, I don't live there, but from what I understand, their legislation is quite liberal, maybe more than another medical aid dying state, is that, is that truthful to say? Yeah, I mean, from the, kind of the history of the medical aid in dying, um, legislature, pretty much as it goes state to state, the more, as time goes on, those advocates are realizing that the terminologies aren't as flexible and accessible enough, so, in other words, the medical aid in dying laws and rules and criteria get easier, and easier to access, um, as time goes on, and New Mexico is one of the later states to have adopted the legislature, so, um, we are quite advanced in that, for example, people can do, just like they do for abortions in our state, we have traveling abortion available, um, or a tourist abortion, we have that now for medical aid in dying, um, so. Interesting. It is, it is. So, is, is, um, medical aid in dying becoming easier as a death option for people who aren't in hospice, or is it still very limited to hospice care? Do you have to? Oh, that's a good question. Well, there's, there's very sad advancements regarding the criteria for medical aid in dying and for hospice, so, um, two things on that. One is, um, there's a push right now to allow some mental health diagnoses to become a hospice criteria. One of them is terminal depression. If somebody has a terminal depression diagnosis, meaning that they've tried things over such and such period of time to treat the depression, but it wasn't successful, then somebody can be eligible for hospice, which would then make them eligible for a medical aid in dying. So, medical aid in dying is a, it's a huge, it's, it's going to hinder mental health care. It's going to hinder palliative health care as well. Um, it's very concerning because, uh, in both of those areas, I'll, I'll focus on the mental health still. It's a lot easier to help somebody kill themself than it is to help them find the right treatment in the right community, the right support, the right meaning. All of those things take a lot more work, both from the individual and from the healthcare or community perspective as well. So now we have this easy solution. Um, and then with palliative care for those that aren't familiar, that's the side of healthcare that helps to palliate those with chronic conditions, including those nearing the end to make them more comfortable. And it's not to cure them, but to make the symptoms more manageable for, you know, improved every day, um, everyday living. So now, um, you know, if somebody is having a hard time sleeping, then they can take something to help them sleep. Maybe some of you have done that too. So, so palliative care can help make symptoms a bit easier, but now medical aid in dying, um, can come in to, um, those that, that want it and cut off the palliative care and give the ultimate palliation of putting someone to sleep forever, putting someone to sleep. Um, yeah, I, I hate medical aid in dying and I'm so honored to be the only pro-life at the end of life ministry in New Mexico. Um, I'm so tired of the lies that it's humanizing, um, the stories, the commercialism, the profiteering and taking advantage of those most vulnerable. And even of the wealthy, most people who choose medical aid in dying aren't poor. They're not disabled and they're not in pain. Um, most of them are wealthy and educated and probably come from a spot where they just, uh, well, this, this is what the statistics show that people end their life primarily because they feel like they're going to be a burden and they don't want to, I believe the statistic is 70. (22:39 - 35:50) This is from, um, compassion and choices, um, which is a pro-made organization national. And I believe it's 70% of people choose it because they don't want to be a burden to somebody and how sad that a human would feel that they're a burden and that we would rather than show them and carry the load with them, that we would just kill them instead or give them a way to kill themselves. So, well, this happens because the gospel isn't, isn't, um, as fully understood in, inside communities, inside medical establishments, um, in, in the training program, there's a, a document and it's talks about aging and, um, and I, I wrote, I, like I wrote it, it's not something I found online, but I, but I did find this quote, um, that our dignity comes from our need for Christ. And so if that we believe is the truth, um, that that's what gives us, gives us our dignity. So if we think, you know, where death is undignified, or I don't want to be a burden, all of that says, my life doesn't have value anymore. And if we look to Christ on the cross, I mean, to us, the most valuable thing that's ever happened is that he died. He stayed up on the cross for us. So, so death is entered, has entered in our world because of sin. It's not what God created, but God has turned death inside out to be something that brings salvation through, through Jesus Christ. His death does. And so our death now is different. And that, that, that, you know, ending it so much maturity in Christ can happen in the last day, weeks, months of, of a terminal illness. And I actually sat with a lovely young mother who was dying. And I remember her, she had a lot of physical pain, metastasized cancer in the spine, metastasized into her, the bones and her legs and hips and spine. And so she would have these like major surges of pain, just like the kind where you just like cry out and scream. And, and we were with her and they would, it was like, it was very much like a labor pain, you know, it'd be like a contraction and then things would quiet down before the next one would come. And, and she said, she'd gotten to the point where, you know, she was okay. She'd come to peace that she was going to die. She was going to be with Christ. She was a very strong Christian. She just didn't want to experience those last couple of days. And so we, we talked about, you know, like, what's the purpose behind that? And, and, you know, we may not ever fully understand it, but we can trust that the Lord has purpose for us, even, even in that. And, and, and, and so just cutting it off because medical aid and dying seems like the easy route is just, it is a lie. And they've taken good words like freedom and said, no, freedom is not, you know, a suffering end of life. Freedom is to not have to have your end of life experience. You can just do it when, when you want to, or of course, freedom is not a suffering end of life. What I mean is freedom to them is not, is, is having to spend those last days as that young mother. That's not freedom. Freedom instead is, well, I'm going to be in control of what I want to do. So our, our thinking, we need a renewed, we need a renewed thinking around it. And, and what happens is they're slipping into the psyches of human beings that know this is the good way. And, and it does, it gets a little bit confusing unless there are people that say, that's not the good way. And that's not how it was intended to be. And, and, and, you know, I wanted to say this earlier, but I didn't want to interrupt. So I'm going to go back. And I'm watching the time too, but I want to go back to, we were talking about, it's Christians. They are supposed to serve the dying. That's historically, the charity of Christians has been a different charity than, than we've had in, in, you know, this world. And that's because of what Christ has done for us on the cross. And this is not by any means to enter into a political conversation, but I think no matter where people stand, we can see there was something wrong in COVID when churches, you couldn't help your dying community members. I mean, we all, I mean, it was the, the, the church charity went away. I mean, we could pray for each other offline. We could maybe Zoom, but, but we couldn't actually be around one another. We couldn't be together in church praying for one another. The, the, the community that has, is the community that, that has served the dying in years past, that was, that was cut off. And it wasn't cut off because churches got the great idea. I think it was cut off because the government mandated it. And, you know, of course now looking back, there are a lot of pastors who say we shouldn't have done that. But there, and we can definitely see, you know, some churches have shuttered, you know, a lot has, a lot has happened, but it's almost a wake up call to say, we aren't where we have been as, as a body of Christ. If it's so easy to say, let's just let the hospital take care of it. We've just gotten so far away. It's just slipped. And, and this isn't a, you know, meant to be, but a criticism other than a wake up call that we do have a call in Christ and it is to this humbling position of serving the dying and the sick. Yeah. I love that. And I would just add one other thing for us. I think most of us on the call are probably Christian. It's not all of us, but it's very important that we can present our stance and our position without quoting from the Bible or without saying, because God said it, that's enough, but more from the natural law perspective, because medically than dying from just a human perspective is wrong and unhelpful. And from a scientific perspective, it's going to put us steps back from the progress that we've made in those areas. I mentioned a palliative care and mental health care, which is already, you know, suffering and has leaps potential in its progress that still haven't been attained and now can be cut off because medically than dying. We are a community center of all types of people. We have liberal Jews to polytheist to those. There's a social worker who's in the LGBTQ pushing that she's all known in Albuquerque and everything in between. And they're all coming here and they're seeing the love. And when they walk in the doors, they are saying, this house is different. There's a piece here. This is beautiful. What is this? And we have a chapel and we've got a crucifix and we can have the blessed sacrament in that chapel now. So we're witnessing to life in a way and in a language that the culture around us is going to understand. And that I think is pretty powerful. The pro-life at the beginning of life movement has been pretty successful with that as well. You know, that science is behind it, that at conception is when that human person is formed. So similarly, we have science in our support at the end of life. It is just, it's dehumanizing and there's so many problems with it. And like I said, it's amazing that we are having all of these conversations here. Education is a big part of what Inora does, getting into the community, making videos and putting our foot forward regarding our stances on these. And then, you know, we've got the education side and then we have the doing side of things. So we're talking about it. And then we have the action of this home, which is providing amazing, amazing care by amazing, amazing people, all types of people. All at no cost, no strings attached. We're feeding them. We're bringing the Lord's hospitality to people. And then we're there when they take that last breath and we're doing it with prayer and with love. And that's amazing. You've answered. So you've answered the rest of the questions that we went through. Well, how can people outside of New Mexico help? You're raising money and this has to be, you know, all dependent upon the donations of people who are supportive of what you're doing. So how have you structured your fundraising efforts? Prayer and on our knees. We have on our knees fundraising efforts at the end of every month. And God's been faithful. He provided a building, a home. Yes. Just this morning, the Albuquerque Journal, which is the newspaper of our city, the biggest town in New Mexico, we were on the front page. So that's amazing. And God brings the right people at the right time. So, yeah, what can you do? Well, if you do know people with deep pockets, then that is something that can help us at the right time to pray for us, to consider starting a home like this in your community, because I believe every community needs a home like this. And we have plans to do that in New Mexico. The Omega Home Network is ready to support and I could provide support for my little experience as well. So, yeah, that's what I would say. And don't be don't be shy on the topic of medical aid in dying. Don't be shy on the topic of end of life and the dignity of the human person to the end of life, the natural death. And know that by you becoming a death resurrection doula and bringing the Christian flavor to end of life ministry and care is the most powerful thing you can do for individual people and possibly for the community if you start. I mean, we know death cafes. They were pretty popular years ago. There's still some around. Having these conversations in the public as well. We don't need to keep this to ourselves, but we need to be open to conversations, having hard conversations, straight conversations over coffee or tea. Not in us versus them, but we can find some common areas and we can have loving, charitable conversations while holding to the truth and finding ways that we can still work together and not fight against each other. So but especially what matters is what you're doing for that person who's nearing death or preparing for death, you know, in your death doula ministry. That's what matters. And it's amazing. You'll find that like I did. I thought that that was going to be the main ministry of Enora is caring for the dying. But I found once we entered into it, it's a ministry to our volunteers, to the community supporters, to our community at large, to the employees and those that just come through our door for a tour. It's a lot bigger than I realized. And I think that's the same for your death doula work as well, death and resurrection work. Yeah. Well, I, you know, it's interesting and I'll wrap up with this part and we'll let other people come on and ask questions. But I mean, mental health, the reason we have, well, I'm not an expert. I want to say our mental health is connected to our relationship with God. (35:50 - 43:11) That doesn't mean that we can be a strong Christian and not experience depression. I don't mean that. But our human condition is because of sin is, you know, in opposition to God's will, you know, it's in a disconnect from God, particularly, you know, before someone has a relationship with God in Christ. So to just, you know, simply say death as the answer to incurable depression or poor mental health is exactly the opposite of what could bring cure to mental health, knowing your creator has left his heaven and died on the cross. So you can be free and you can have new life. Even now before death, you can have, you know, a taste of new life. And so we must keep praying. I imagine you've had some spiritual warfare along the journey. Have there been things that have made you question yourself or how's that journey been? It's been a wild ride. That's for sure. It's been a wild ride. Yeah. But mainly it's just little confirmations and things. But I've definitely had doubts. I was never a hospice nurse. So the very fact that I've gotten into death care work and field is something that was never on my radar. Maybe it was for a minute while I was a nurse, you know, I would care for on the med surg units. We would sometimes care for people who were dying if there wasn't really a hospice unit and such. And I did at one point think I would be a hospice nurse. But yeah, God is, He's funny. He is interesting. He just needed somebody who was a little bit wild enough to believe that this was possible in our community. And I ended up being that guy. I'm not the right person for it. And at the same time, as I look at my life and the providence that He has had and the different experiences that have brought me to this point, then it really is undeniable. But I add that in the context of spiritual warfare, because God is with us. God is behind these things. And I think it was Mother Teresa who said, God doesn't or actually, I know it was not in this exact quote, but God doesn't demand success. He just asks for faithfulness. And so far, God has let me be faithful. And that's to His glory. So may He help us both. That's right. That's right. I look forward to seeing things continue to grow, the collaboration, staying strong. And so there are two people that are connected with an aura that are training in the program. And I absolutely love that. And we've talked about when things settle down a bit from your new start with your first guest that we're going to see, where else can we collaborate? Because it's important. This is a movement. And several people in the program have said to me, I want to do something like this. Like, the Lord has also called me to this. So that's very exciting. And then we study the book, the crisis of US hospice care in the program. And as well, the author does a research project down in Atlanta. And it is for something that would be the sister group to an aura. And so very exciting to see something growing. So thank you. Thank you, Miles. Now, I'm going to give everyone the opportunity, if you want to turn your camera on and your mic on, have at it. And Miles, we have a little bit more time if people want to ask him questions, or if you want to share anything else, Miles, that we didn't cover today. I'll stand by I don't have anything in particular at this moment, but I'm sure it'll come as people ask questions and such. And not to say we have a good mix on today that some people have trained summer training, and I see some that are considering training. So this is a very good mix. Yeah. Miles, this is Rosemary. And so the house that you have, the NRO home, is it an actual like facility? Or is it an actual home? Like a private home? We are a home. And it was so this home that we're renting, it's owned by a church. So I've got to give just a little bit of history, because it's a home. And it's a little bit different than a home, the way that it's set up. It's as if it was designed for exactly what we're doing. It is so amazing. And the reason is because a donor back in the 80s, funded this structure to be built as a shelter for women. So we're kind of following in that history. So it looks like a home, feels like a home. And then there are things about it where it takes it kind of a notch higher regarding the quality, like, or the living space, you know, the doors are very wide. And then it's got this huge living room, which is perfect for our trainings. There's a training going on this morning, a hospice nursing area is providing it to our volunteers. We've trained over 60 in our community. So it is a home and we call it a home. But the hospices in the area are like, what facility are you from? So I mean, we're a facility in that sense, too. Yeah. Okay. And the meals that you provide, is it like a common kitchen? Or is it like little apartments or? Yeah, God brought us an amazing person. He's the other staff on hand. So we're going to go to three and we're hiring Rosa, which I'm just so amazed about. But our second staff, he's a chef, and he has tons of experience in that field. So we have a chef making meals for volunteers, for family members for the dying if they're interested for us. Beauty is a key word and descriptor for what we do. We're bringing beauty and art, original art, and part of it is through food. So the food, the food is presented beautifully, charitably, it's on trays. Yeah, it's amazing. It's not like hospital food or facility food. It's handmade from scratch. And again, we feed whole families. (43:12 - 44:16) We've had 22 meals served in an evening. And we don't charge a dime for it. So hospitality is huge for us. Yeah. How many people are you able to have at your facility at one time? We can care for three at a time. Three at a time. Okay. Each have their own room, and they are spacious rooms and each has a sleeper sofa. We have no restrictions on visiting hours. So we can have family stay here 24 seven. One of our guests, God bless his soul, Gerald, he was our first, he came to our home on April 8. He stayed with us until yesterday, we had a home funeral in our living room with prayers, flowers, a little a little shrine thing that the family set up right in our living room. And so families here, his sister, we're still allowing to stay in our home because both of them are unhoused. (44:16 - 45:12) So we couldn't imagine having the sister go to the streets. So she's going to stay with us a little bit longer. She's kind of watching the house and doing some of the cleaning and things as we work at a permanent solution. So that's probably more information and I'm kind of getting lost, but I hope that answers. No, no, no. This is helpful because I think, well, for me, I've been kind of kicking around the idea of exactly what you're doing. And so this is all, even though, you know, God has put this on my mind and my heart for some. You know, I'm in the healthcare field, I'm a respiratory therapist, and I run a pulmonary function lab. But there's a pull that I feel. (45:16 - 46:43) We might have lost her. Well, she'll come. She's coming back. Yeah. And then Michelle and Jill. Sorry. Okay. Okay. You're kind of cutting out a little bit. I hope you can hear me. I just want to add one little thing and then we can get to the other questions is reach out to me. You're welcome to come visit our home. I think we're doing it in an incredible way. And I don't know why here in Albuquerque, we get to do something so amazing, but the way that it's being done is truly incredible. And then we had an RT come and visit us. A lot of RTs were traumatized during COVID, which Laurel mentioned. They saw people dying in very inhumane ways and felt totally powerless. And just like a tool in a machine, because that's pretty much all that could be provided. So my heart goes out to you if you were an RT during that period. And we do have some RTs who are connecting with Nora now as well. When I when I gave a tour to one, he actually cried because it brought up that trauma that I don't think it quite surfaced, which happened during COVID for him. And he's seeing what he knew his patients needed, but that he couldn't give them. And now he's seeing that we can actually give it to the people in our community. So I love what you're doing and definitely reach out to me. (46:45 - 46:55) Be glad to help and answer. Thank you so much. Michelle is going to go next and I'm going to put Miles, I'm going to put your email address in the chat. (46:58 - 47:41) Okay. Miles, I love what you're doing. I really appreciate it. And I went to your website when you were talking and looked up Dallas, like what do you have in Dallas? And it looks like there's one that's set up. I don't know about Fort Worth. That's just an hour away. And there's like two that are in development that are not in the city of Dallas. That's where I live. So just wondering about that. But I did see that. And it says you're a non-medical. So it's basically just come to die, eat, sleep. But you have a respiratory therapist. Do you have any kind of medical services or what about their pain? I guess, well, hospice will come for that. Is there oxygen or? Yeah, good question. (47:41 - 50:37) I guess that would be the... No, but that'll help me to clarify and kind of show our scope. So yeah, we're non-medical. And I mentioned RTs, these are volunteers or people who have just come and supported. They are not employees and they are not acting in their RT role. They're just people who have given so much in their profession. And then they see that we're offering something amazing for those at the end of life and they want to get behind it. So we are totally non-medical. We're basically a home and a family for those who need it, but don't have a home and a family who can provide it. Even for probably most of us on this call, we may have a loved one who may want to get home hospice, but near the end of the life, they need 24 seven care. And for most of us that can create more strain than what we can possibly even care for. Some of us, if we're retired and maybe have a little bit of income or something, we can make it work. But many of us, we can't up and leave our jobs to support that loved one. So we become either an extension for the family or for those, like in Gerald's case, we become the family. So anything that could be cared for in the home, in somebody's personal home is what we can care for in our home. So if you think, if your loved one does have pain or let's say they do need suction or they do need oxygen, all those things can be provided in your home. So we can care for those things, just like a family member, even a non-trained, non-medical, non-healthcare family member learns how to do those things. That's kind of how we are. We can do those things in our home as well. Medication administration. We have some of our volunteers who are trained in that as well. So is the Omega group, a Christian group, a Catholic group? I didn't see anything about faith on your website. Yeah, there's all types of homes that are allowed in the network from those who exist primarily to care for those who want to end their life in their homes, to ones like ours, to ones that actually will charge some. Some have a sliding scale system for payment and some actually do try to get reimbursement through Medicare and Medicaid because some services, it just takes a ton of work in order to get the reimbursement and almost like a full-time person just to try to get that payment. So we're not going that avenue. We never planned to. So you've chosen to be a Catholic home. Is that right? But anybody can come. (50:37 - 53:00) Correct. Yeah, we've cared. One of the first people to die in our home was a person who was living a lesbian lifestyle. We had somebody who had Native American beliefs who died in our home. And among our volunteers, it's also quite diverse too. So we have rules about honoring our pro-life values and being respectful of our beliefs. And we don't do proselytizing here as well. So yeah. Thank you. I liked what you had to say. One last thing about, you don't want to use the Bible to talk to people about why medical aid in dying is wrong. And you said scientifically, physically, and socially it's wrong. Can you say more about those three? And maybe that's too much to ask, but science is, it's, you know, just to make it quick, I don't want to take up more time. There are stories out there, one by a well-known hospice nurse, Catherine Mannix, I believe in Great Britain. She wrote With Death in Mind, I believe is what it's called. And she has a story in there where one of her patients was thinking of ending his life. He had ALS, very hard condition, and he was a very independent person. He planned to end his life and he was going to go drive off a cliff. It didn't work because he lost the ability to use his feet. And he was going to shoot himself. He lost the ability to use his hands right before he was able to follow through with that plan. Then he was going to ingest, medical aid in dying wasn't allowed, but he was going to ingest something to kill himself. And then he wasn't able to swallow. And when he talked with Catherine Mannix, not a Christian and somebody who's in the death care and a hospice nurse and a secular, he said, I realize now that you were helping me to live. You were helping me. It's not that you were helping me to die, but you were helping me to live. And thank you so much because these last days were the best days of my life. (53:01 - 53:17) So medical aid in dying is robbing people of the best days of their life. And I hate the idea, and every human should hate the idea that we're taking that from people. But yeah, there's a lot. (53:17 - 53:27) What was the name of the, what's the author's name again? Catherine Mannix, M-A-N-N-I-X. Okay. That's what I was thinking. (53:28 - 54:33) That's good. Thank you. I'm really glad you, Michelle asked and you shared that. That just, that's, that is really, really amazing. Before we go to Jill and we're about to wrap up, I want to just point out there's three people on this call that are a part of Enora. And I don't know if they just want to wave or say hello, but it's not just Miles. We have Rosa, who's training in the program. And as I understand, Enora, Lorraine is one of the first people I met when I met Miles, you guys showed up at the Fellowship Cafe. And Denise is Miles' mother-in-law and she's training in the program. It's amazing. Absolutely amazing. So thank you all, the three of you for, for what, for what you're doing. I thank Miles, but I, it just, it changes my program. You're, you're changing my program. I'm, I'm very, very excited about that. (54:33 - 54:45) So I don't, if you want to say a word, please, please do. Looks like my mom is trying to say something. Muted. (54:46 - 55:45) I can ask her to unmute. There we go. I just, either in Atul Gawande's book, which is Being Immortal, or Ira Bayak, Dying Well, concerning medical aid in dying, he said, there's no reason for anybody to endure their last days in pain. There are things that you can do to mitigate that pain. Is that true? Is that true? Because I've been telling people that, and I don't want to be telling tales out of school, but. It's true. It's true. And that's where I am thankful for the medical side of, of death care that we now have available to us and partner with, with homes and with the community. And in Catholic teaching, we even allow, I can't think of the word all of a sudden, terminal sedation, I think is what it's called. (55:46 - 55:48) Palliative sedation. Thank you. Thank you. (55:48 - 56:42) What Ira Bayak calls it, and that is the book Dying Well by Dr. Bayak. Yeah. So it's an extreme treatment of pain and suffering, and it's permissible within our Christian beliefs to provide it. So worst case scenario, we can provide that still within our Christian beliefs. That could not be something we would have in our home, unfortunately, God willing, we could grow to the point where we could have volunteers come and sit with somebody who might need that. I think that's a beautiful ministry too, within the medical industry that, that people can offer. And I know that to list can wherever their, their client is, is living their last days. So yes. Good, good question, mom. (56:43 - 56:59) Good question for those considering training. That is part of what you'll read and study. So if you're like, how do they know all this? You're going to learn. It's a great program for sure. Jill, you've been very patient. Let's wrap up with your, your question. (56:59 - 1:00:47) Okay. And I didn't hear, are you actually part of the Omega Home affiliation or no? Yes, we are. Part of the affiliation. Do they have requirements on what kind of people need to staff the home? What kind of volunteers need to be there? How much do they require of structure? And if they don't require as much, how did you make those decisions as to what roles needed to be filled first? Yeah, they are very open in regarding the types and styles and structures to homes. Um, there are some that are staffed fully by paid persons, including nurses. And then there's some homes that are entirely powered by only volunteers, except maybe the executive director who acts as, um, you know, scheduling and orchestrating things. So you have both extremes. Um, and then there's ones that are a mix of paid, um, and volunteer. And at this last conference I went to, they had a speaker, a director from each type of home, um, available in a panel panel discussion, which was an amazing opportunity, uh, where I learned a lot and gleaned a lot. So, so our approach is volunteer powered volunteer primary, um, as the caregivers, um, and myself as paid. Um, I definitely do a lot of the caregiving and Rosen, she, she comes, she'll be worrying if you have to do what I am, but caregiving will definitely be a big part of that too. And training caregivers. Um, so. Yeah, it's very inspiring what you do. I've been saying forever, we need to do a field trip and go to Norma for a weekend and watch you guys do and come alongside. It's, um, I just wondered how much, uh, direction they help give when you're starting or is it, do you have to have a, like all the vision or do they, do they supplement your vision with, okay, yeah, we can take that and help you. This is how we, other people have done it within our system. Yeah, it's more like that. Um, they're great for, they actually have a forum where you can connect with other homes and ask questions and then anybody can reply to it. And you'll see quite a diverse amount of answers and perspectives on it. You know, they use different software, different volunteer management things, different funding things. So, um, it's not so structured where they tell you exactly what to do, but they give you the guidance and they can connect you with, um, other directors who are on the same wavelength and doing it the way that you envision it to be done. So that's a good thing about it too. And going to these conferences is amazing. Even if you're in the dreaming stage, I'd recommend it. I'm going to one of their conferences. Um, this one is going to, um, this next one is, uh, early June, I think Rosa and it's in Buffalo, New York. So if anybody's out in that area, then are going to be, it might be worth it to stop by. Yeah. Hey, Miles, would you clarify one thing with your home? It just came to mind. So a doula non-medical that can still can not fill the gap that families need because they would like help often with giving the medication. They want to take some respite time who's because you're a registered nurse. Do you do that at an aura or how are you handling the medication administration at an aura? Oh, yeah, that's an interesting question. (1:00:47 - 1:01:46) A few thoughts. Um, we've got around 10 death doulas associated with Inhora right now and are here on any given day. And, um, I know that in their death doula role, they don't give medications and in their caregiver role, um, at, at our home, they are able to, and they do, um, some of them. So it's kind of a, an interesting line there. So anyone who has the training, um, to give the medications can, and we have a stringent, um, system in place to where there's accountability and the medications are all locked because there are, you know, controlled substances and things. So we've got surveillance as well in that area. (1:01:47 - 1:03:17) So, uh, yes, I can. And yes, many of our caregivers can do that as well. Even your death doula. So that's interesting. So they have taken a training that what New Mexico is, is probably something specific to New Mexico of giving it medication. And they, well, and you know, the death doulas, they're not getting, um, paid for what they're doing. So when they're here, they're not, let's say a death doula. They're here as a caregiver. Um, who is a death doula, just like me, I'm not here as an RN, even though I am one I'm here as a caregiver, as the executive director. So they come into kind of a different role, I've seen, um, which actually opens up more opportunities for them to do death care. For example, in New Mexico, um, a death doula can not do any after death care in our state, unless they're a funeral director. That's the law in New Mexico, but Inhora, as a volunteer, they can do after death care that are not being compensated for it. They're in their volunteer role. So they can, you know, a lot of some death doulas have this, uh, this passion to care for those that they, you know, brought to the point of death to continue caring for them after death, but they can't, their hands are tied because they aren't funeral directors.